,So as a vegetarian, it can be, um, trying to get your kids to eat. Tofu? Disgusting, they say. Tempeh? Ick, no, mama. So what is a girl to do to get her fussy boys eating foods that don't end with the word chip? Well, scratch that, foods that aren't slathered with butter and cheese?
First, of course, darling you must pour yourself a glass of wine. Mommy needs to think, after all, and during the long days of summer with its the three billion loads of dirty pool towels, missing goggles, and all that whining, down time is a necessity if one is to have the energy to put food in front of their little sunburned faces. I've found that the best course of action to get kids to eat healthy is just to simply lie. Yes, that's right, I'm not stretching the truth, whatever that is, I am flat-out fibbing. I tried shoving mashed up cauliflower or broccoli into brownies but they could tell. I tried having the kids cook the veggies that they pick from the garden themselves and they would take a bite, make a face, and pour themselves a bowl of cereal. So now I make those delightful fake chick'n patties and pass them off as real chicken nuggets and you know what? Even my little one, the one that refuses to eat jelly because it is a form of fruit, scarfs it on down. Gardein's Chick'n teriyaki is now a family favorite, pair it with some brown rice, some baby corn and boom, a balanced meal that doesn't make the kids threaten to go leave and live with the nice neighbor lady who serves corn dogs. Winning, darlings, it's all about winning.
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AuthorTraci Highland writes funny books for sassy ladies. Archives
July 2018
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