What’s not to love? The masks? The constant need to remind students to make sure the masks cover their noses? The paperwork? The half an hour it takes just to take online attendance? The unending lectures about academic standards falling and it all being our fault? And let’s not forget the lack of adequate compensation?
Please, darlings, forget the stimulus checks, Uncle Sam needs to pony up and buy every teacher in America two weeks in Cancun. With open bar. Never forget the open bar.
The pandemic is ending, the birds are returning, and apparently all anyone in the government seems to want to do is to find ways to make more work for us, by hunting naughty students down and forcing them to rise to some kind of academic standard.
Please, like any of us can afford to give us our summer jobs, darlings! Miss Behave kindly suggests that legislators, in their infinite wisdom, get their precious manicured hands dirty and actually do something for once. Chase down absentee students? Watch students as they take their Google Meets with them to the bathroom? Or better yet, as they brag about the high scores they have just hot during class in the chat they think teachers can’t see? That on YOU, dear legislator. I think I can speak for the entirety of the nation’s teachers in saying that yes, we are done for the year. Done. You would be lucky if any of us are brave enough the enter the classroom come September.
Miss Behave and her fellow teachers will be drinking margaritas by the dozen while sobbing in the corner for the entire two months of summer.
Love and Xanax,
teaching, pandemic, surviving the pandemic, surviving teaching during the pandemic