J'adore ca

Dear Miss Behave,
My son is dating this girl named Chloe.  I believe the name is French, and you know what they say about French girls. Anyway, she is terriblyforward.  Why, just the other day, she walked up to my son and told him, “Get in the car.”  No please, no hello, how are you today, Ma’am?  She took one look at my baby and just barked her order, expecting him to jump.  He’s thirty, how is this an appropriate way to address anyone?  Please tell me how to deal with these appalling manners in a way that ensures that she will not become my daughter-in-law.
Sincerely,
-Fed Up
 
Dear Fed Up,
Oh my pet, you simply musttell what it is they say about the French.  I do hope it’s kinky.  
Anyhow, forward women are inright now, my lamb.  So you need to make sure your son is happy, and then turn your attention elsewhere.  I suggest using your obsession with proper manners and maybe joining some kind of club, perhaps a bonsai society?  Pet grooming?  Flower arrangements?  Then, once entrenched amidst jars of hydrangeas and carnations, you should be forward yourself, and maybe ask someone new out for a coffee.  Or, you know, high tea or something.  Own the forward woman thing, darling!
Love and margaritas,
-Miss Behave