I suck at making those zoodles, and I have zucchini bread packed into my freezer like I plan to one day use zucchini bread bricks to fend off zombies in the apocalypse my older son swears is coming.  And yes, I did take away his Walking Dead watching privileges, btw.  

But I still have zucchini, so on Amazon Prime day, I went ahead and bought a food dehydrator and the first thing I made?  Zucchini chips!  And they were terrific!

Here's how I did it:

First, I sliced the zucchini on a mandolin.  Then, I tossed them with olive oil, salt and pepper.  Threw them into the dehydrator so that they were touching, turned the thing to 140 degrees for 8 hours and voila!  Delicious chips!  Like potato chips, only green and actually good for you!

If you like, you can make them in the oven as well. Set the temp to 200 degrees and cook for two hours or so until they're crispy.

So, what's a girl to do on a rainy day when stuck in the house with active children.  Why, feed them sugar, of course.  I know, darlings. probably not the best course of action, but since I ate as much sugar  as they did, and we just wrapped up an epic dance-party throw-down, I say it was a wise choice.  

Here is the recipe, sweeties, enjoy!

This is a trick title, of course, my darlings, as there is absolutely nothing wrong with pesto.  

The problem is, frankly, the children.  I love them, but today I made roughly three thousand pounds of fresh pesto made with both fresh basil and fresh garlic that I picked from the garden, and what do the kids want to eat for dinner?  

Chicken nuggets.

Yes, hours of my day spent in the kitchen, gleefully preparing this taste of summer for the family to be able to enjoy mid-winter.  

Never fear, though, lambs, I am strong, so tonight there will be only pesto for dinner.  Pesto on pasta, maybe pesto on bread, or even pesto-laden baked zucchinis.  There will be no chicken nuggets.

So, darlings, if you would like to torture your sweet cherubs my making fresh pesto, here is my recipe:


Traci's Pesto

3 cups fresh basil, firmly packed (make sure to pick the leaves at the top part of the stalks, where the leaves cluster together, the leaves from the stem can be a bit bitter)

2 cloves garlic

1/3 cup pinenuts (I buy mine bulk at Big Y or Costco)

2/3 cup grated or chunked Locatelli Pecorino Romano (Pecorino Romano is like parm., only a bit more flavorful)

2/3 cup extra virgin olive oil.  (Because why mess around?)

pinch of salt

pinch of pepper

Throw everything together in a food processor except olive oil, and blend until smooth.  You may have to scrape down the sides a bit.  Then slowly pour the olive oil through the top so that it emulsifies.  

If you are going to serve it right away, you may want to add a half teaspoon of fresh lemon juice so that it keeps its color.

Serve over everything. (Except chicken nuggets.)

​  

,So as a vegetarian, it can be, um, trying to get your kids to eat.  Tofu?  Disgusting, they say.  Tempeh?  Ick, no, mama.  So what is a girl to do to get her fussy boys eating foods that don't end with the word chip?  Well, scratch that, foods that aren't slathered with butter and cheese?

First, of course, darling you must pour yourself a glass of wine.  Mommy needs to think, after all, and  during the long days of summer with its the three billion loads of dirty pool towels, missing goggles, and all that whining,  down time is a necessity if one is to have the energy to put food in front of their little sunburned faces.

I've found that the best course of action to get kids to eat healthy is just to simply lie.  Yes, that's right, I'm not stretching the truth, whatever that is, I am flat-out fibbing.  I tried shoving mashed up cauliflower or broccoli into brownies but they could tell.  I tried having the kids cook the veggies that they pick from the garden themselves and they would take a bite, make a face, and pour themselves a bowl of cereal.  

So now I make those delightful fake chick'n patties and pass them off as real chicken nuggets and you know what?  Even my little one, the one that refuses to eat jelly because it is a form of fruit, scarfs it on down.

Gardein's Chick'n teriyaki is now a family favorite, pair it with some brown rice, some baby corn and boom, a balanced meal that doesn't make the kids threaten to go leave and live with the nice neighbor lady who serves corn dogs.  

Winning, darlings, it's all about winning.